How I or you feel about any piece of art doesn’t determine the worth of that art or provide any conclusive commentary on whether said art is “good.” Art in any form be it music, paintings, television or chalk on a sidewalk derives its meaning from the emotional response it elicits. That all being said, and I will arrive at my point very soon, I have an entirely self-inflicted responsibility to provide my skewed and semi-interesting view on movies and television. And my opinion of Rocky IV is that I smile ear to ear every time I see it, I’ll never tire of Rocky versus Drago, and the soundtrack helps me to stay motivated and alert when jogging. I’d say about a quarter of the movie is training montage and I’m 100% OK with that. Stallone knows his audience and he gives them what they want. It’s admirable. Ivan Drago is larger than life, extremely dangerous and compassionless in his dedication to crushing anyone stupid enough to face him. He’s the perfect foil for Rocky. Even before Creed II humanized Drago I sensed he was a victim of the unbearable pressure his God-given talent and size afforded him. That he shows a complete lack of remorse after killing Apollo balances it out and fills up his mustache-twirling-villain ledger. We all have a list of movies that once started we feel compelled to finish. Rocky IV does it for me every time. I don’t see why anyone would go out of their way to criticize a movie that sets a goal for itself and accomplishes it with stunning accuracy.
I can make a case that Drago hitting the mat is the most stunning and satisfying overcome-the-odds moment in sports movie history. The earlier moment when Rocky first cuts him cuts deep for the viewer also. 10 out of 10.
It would be unfair to begin by saying the same guy who made Gigli made The Town. Yes, Affleck stars in both but he only directed one. And oh my goodness is it an amazing film. I would feel that way even if I hadn’t grown up in the same town and went to the same high school as Affleck (and Matt Damon). The Town is a Boston streets level thriller jammed up with nearly perfect performances from a who’s who of Hollywood talent including Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Blake Lively and Chris Cooper. Affleck, in no small part due to playing a character you can be sure he’s met and interacted with, is mesmerizing as Doug McCrae, the quintessential crook with a heart of gold. Oscar nominee Renner is a revelation as McCrae’s best friend and trigger man with the hair-trigger temper. The Town stands out amongst the dime a dozen crime caper genre on the authenticity of its performances and from being largely shot on location in Charlestown, Boston and Cambridge with supporting actors native to the region. There is not a cringy fake Boston accent to be found. Wicked.
The Town gets a 10 out of 10 for general audiences and if you are from Boston or the surrounding areas you didn’t need this review to exist.
We all have a friend or two so completely confident and committed to being themselves they inspire you to do so as well. They care not about fitting in or following trends. I aspire to be such a person and Reign of Fire is such a film. On the surface, the fantasy genre setting is cookie cutter post-apocalyptic stuff. Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale didn’t get the memo. They both engage with their parts like leads in Shakespeare-in-the-dystopia. This is what happens when you capture the lighting in a bottle of two future mega-superstar thespians cutting their teeth in a film that has no right being this well-acted. A then relatively unknown Gerard Butler stands out as well. The then-groundbreaking visual effects hold up remarkably well even to 2021 standards. The dragons look quite similar to those on Game of Thrones but with an intentionally serpentine style of movement (a tidbit I learned from the DVD special features – I’m that guy). Rob Bowman’s direction is electric and one scene depicting dragon hunters dubbed “archangels” jumping out of planes and engaging the mythical beasts hand to tooth is equal parts thrilling and utterly ridiculous. The always game Izabella Corupco turns in a small but memorable performance as confidant to McConaughey’s Van Zan and love interest to Bale’s Abercromby. Intentionally grim and dreary, the movie still ends on a high note. More fantasy genre fans should experience this film. It’s a dragon in the rough that doesn’t get nearly enough praise for what it accomplishes. 7/10
There is very little ambiguity or shades of grey amongst the characters in Legend. This is a comfortable and well-worn conceit of classic fantasy stories and the film leans hard into it. The intentional lack of nuance is a very effective narrative device for a story set in an unknown place in an unknown time. Everyone is clearly Good or Bad. Tim Curry’s antagonist is literally named Darkness and he has no interest in anything other than snuffing out the sun forever. He’s the Devil, capital E Evil, and not trying to be anything but. Curry disappears completely into the makeup and prosthetics. Darkness, a blood-curdling shade of crimson red, doesn’t just hold up in 2020, he’s just as terrifying and menacing now as he was then. Interesting that Curry, known for comedic roles, was able to create one of the most enduring (and underrated/underseen) villains in cinema history. I highly recommend the blu-ray to those who’ve seen only the theatrical version that would play on television. There you will find the Ridley Scott Director’s Cut (quite different than the theatrical cut) as well as a version with an alternative score. Changing the music changes the feel and energy of the film completely. It’s a fascinating study in the power of post-production.
Legend receives a score of 7/10 for general audiences and 9.5/10 for fans of the fantasy genre or Tom Cruise wielding a longsword while wearing a somehow-still-masculine sequin dress.
Best. Batmobile. Ever. I re-watched Batman 89 for this review and as I have long felt, Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of the Joker just doesn’t do it for me. Perhaps it’s because for ages he was the only live-action Joker portrayal meant to be taken seriously (apologies to a mustached Cesar Romero) or the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia, but all I see is Jack playing Jack wearing clown makeup and suits that largely neutralize any chance of him coming across as threatening. Providing the character, also oddly named Jack, with a definitively unambiguous origin tying him inexorably to Batman makes sense narratively but not for the Joker. Not knowing for sure what makes the Joker the Joker is half his appeal. I digress. We are introduced to Batman in all his latex/rubber splendor within the first five minutes of the film and while the action is quaint and wholly unspectacular by present day standards, it still works. Keaton has the presence and jawline that make you believe him when he says “I’m Batman.” The ever present and now unmistakable Tim Burton Batman theme helps. Batman 89 is just as enjoyable as ever and Michael Keaton deserves all the praise in the world for his Batman and Bruce Wayne. I would say the movie is just as memorable for it’s Burton-nization of Gotham. He rightly places Gotham City at center stage as a supporting character and the architecture and cinematography leaves as much of a mark as any actor. Gotham is supposed to feel this way. I wonder if Burton knew that or if it was a case of Burton being Burton and he was hired because whatever dark path he chose for the city would largely work. We’ll never know.
I’m not dancing with the devil of trying to provide a rating to Batman 89. The film has established its importance to the culture and any score I put here would be largely meaningless. 10 out of 10.
I’ve never written, produced or directed a film but I’ve put a good amount of thought into how it might work. I imagine the first step is to identify a target audience and work out what they might be interested in. You then work backwards to create a compelling story showcasing those elements. If that’s an accurate approximation of the movie-making process, than Bloodport might be the best film ever made. It knows exactly what it is, who it’s for and it tells its story with supreme confidence. In the late 80’s/early 90’s a case could be made that Van Damme was the biggest action star on the planet. Mileage will vary depending on your appetite for mindless action but the guy was bankable. Bloodsport represents the apex of his career. The film holds up in 2020 on the strength of exceedingly fun fight choreography one can actually follow, a simple but effective story, a catchy soundtrack and for taking the “fighters across the globe meet at an undisclosed location for a fight to the death” trope and making it at least seem plausible. I’m not saying the Kumite is a real thing, but the Kumite within Bloodsport is shot in such a way that it comes across as a documentary rather than just people fighting. It’s not high art (and it’s not trying to be) but for my money the final battle between Frank Dux and Chong Li is up there with Rocky/Drago, Kenobi/Vader and Bruce Leroy/ShoNuff. OK USA!
Bloodsport is a classic that just gets better with each viewing. 10/10.
The typical action movie is content to be loud and dumb and not much else. Kiss of the Dragon dares to be different. The film stars Jet Li, his very presence a special effect not unlike Bruce Lee before him. Most would consider Li an action star on the level of Lee, Jackie Chan and Donnie Yen and he's certainly earned such praise. Li moves so fast and with such confidence it appears his would-be assailants are moving through molasses. The fight choreography is frenetic and you can see and feel the thwack of every punch and roundhouse due to director Chis Nahon's willingness not to cut every 3 seconds or utilize shaky cam. For action stunt wonks like myself, there is a lot here to enjoy. They say styles make fights so It helps that the film goes out of its way to showcase multiple martial art types as well as stunt actors both small and comically large, many of which contrast interestingly with Li's slight build and more traditional Wing Chun fighting style. Li's character operates within the tired action movie trope of "retired shadowy operative pulled back into a life of violence" but he is able to inject a measure of humanity and relatability to the character. It gives the action scenes a great deal of additional stakes. In addition to some of the best fight scenes you’ll ever see, KOTD is heartfelt, funny, warm and extremely satisfying in how it ties up and pays off the fairly simple story. Li and co-star Bridget Fonda (remember her?) go through a beautifully acted arc that is simmering yet platonic. French actor Tcheky Karyo is terrifyingly violent as the films antagonist and foil for Li. I’m quite curious if the kiss of the dragon we see in the film exists in real life. I sure hope not. Final thought: This film reminds me of The Equalizer. Both Li and Denzel Washington's characters share the same backstory and samurai-like focus on helping the helpless. The only real difference is the setting.
KOTD receives a score of 8/10 for general audiences and a 9/10 for fight fans that also appreciate a touching story.
I often discuss the matter of movies transcending genre. That is, would it be reasonable to expect an individual to enjoy a film in the absence of interest in its underlying themes? Could someone with zero interest (shame!) in superheroics enjoy a film based on a comic book property? It’s a useful test for determining how and if a film might appeal to individuals outside of its target market. The Crow crushes this test and in doing so sets a bar met or approached by few other films in or outside of the bloated comic book movie genre. The Crow is based on a James O’Barr graphic novel. I discovered this long after my first watch. It wouldn’t take long for the film to establish itself as must-see for an entire generation. It is well documented that O’Barr wrote the story of The Crow as a means of coping with a sudden loss in his own life. The Crow is now beautifully synonymous with sorrow and loss. Brandon Lee, his life tragically snuffed out during filming in a stunt gone wrong, becomes The Crow similarly to how Heath Ledger became the Joker in The Dark Knight. You don’t see Lee. You see his every movement and gesture emanating and pulsing with sadness and regret, the emotions that bring him back to mortal earth as the avenging angel. Both Lee and Ledger were taken from their loved ones before living a full life. I make no specific affirmations around understanding life beyond life but it is my hope that Lee and Ledger can take the smallest amount of solace in how we continue to and will always celebrate their willingness to sacrifice to captivate and entertain us. They deserved better.
They don’t make ‘em like this anymore. Yes, the plot is paper thin and the movie is largely a vehicle for Berry Gordy to showcase burgeoning-at-the-time Motown imprint musicians. The end result is still purely innocent eighties fun. One scene stands out as comedy gold in 2020, unintentionally. Vanity, our damsel-in-distress has Bruce Leroy as a visitor at her velvet-everything penthouse. She attempts to seduce him in the only way they did seduction in eighties movies (without any subtlety). At one point she asks Leroy “are you thirsty?” No, Vanity you’re the thirsty one. The fight scenes are more than competent, pleasantly innovative and creatively shot so that the near 20 minute extended fight sequence concluding the film is a popcorn munching blast and not tiresome. 13 year old Ernie Reyes can GO. To be clear, this movie is not good - it’s great. Watch it again and remind yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to live the way of the wise. Get your glow on. Real Quick: A baby faced William H. Macy has a blink and you’ll miss it cameo at the films start.
It would be disingenuous to begin without coming clean that this is one of my all-time favorite films. I’d hazard a guess that many of my contemporaries feel the same way. The wide-eyed wonder and innocence captured by The Goonies in featuring a cast comprised mostly of children is a risky formula - when it works the magic created is stunning. The film holds up perfectly in present day and continues to inspire decades after release in contemporary shows like Stranger Things. But what is it about The Goonies, directed by Richard Donner, that causes it to stand out amongst a glut of rose-colored eighties movies? It can’t be nostalgia alone. Was it seeing Mikey grow up in front of our eyes with that stolen kiss from Andy? Mouth’s heartbreaking proclamation that his one wish had been taken from him? The truffle-shuffle? That unmistakable Richard Donner sense of excitement and adventure? The answer is "pick one." Or pick several. The Goonies has a powerful and oft-overlooked message about showing kindness to those who need it most and not judging a book by its cover. I credit the story arc of the late John Matuszak’s Sloth as my very first exposure to the notion that anyone can overcome a bad situation with the help of a caring friend. Chunk could’ve dismissed Sloth and Sloth had every reason to give up hope and embrace anger. But you don’t do that when you have the heart of a (super) hero. Rest in Power, John (and Richard). I always felt Mouth used humor as a defense mechanism to cope with the turmoil the movie alludes to him experiencing at home. Who can’t relate to that on some level?
Have you ever heard the story of the scorpion and the frog? Ryan Gosling’s performance in Drive is a sight to behold and an underrated visual master-class in how to create and portray a complex and flawed character defined paradoxically by both simmering rage and zen-like calm. A stunt car samurai with an unimpeachable code and unshakable will, Gosling’s “Driver” - we never learn his actual name - is the type of friend who will help you move…and help you get rid of the body. Gosling takes the reluctant-hero-with-a-shady-past trope and turns it into something haunting and beautiful. Driver conveys more with a look or gesture than us mere mortals do in a proper monologue. The meticulously shot film is fairly short on action relative to what the trailer and title might indicate, partially explaining its polarizing nature, but a killer soundtrack and intentionally against-type performances by Gosling, Albert Brooks (a comedic actor portraying an aging but still dangerous mob boss) and Bryan Cranston elevate the film to its near mythic status among fans. Every frame is a marvel of cinematography. The visceral depictions of violence will leave you gobsmacked in how they are executed from outta nowhere, apologies to Randy Orton. I can't think of many performances in cinema history more un-apologetically masculine and chilling than Gosling wielding a hammer and bullet to the skull of the bad guy. Gosling deserves more praise for the singular performance.
Drive gets a 8/10 for general audiences and a 10/10 for those who can appreciate a slow burn thriller and a lead performance that stands out as one of the best in modern cinema.
I get anxiety when asked to list my all-time favorite movies. There’s no coming back from a wrong answer. I was recently asked this very question by a room full of successful adults. The bewilderment in the room was palpable when I included 1990’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on my list. There wasn’t enough time to convincingly convey that although the film is based on a kid’s property, its target is anyone who has experienced loss, dealt with being an outsider, was challenged by family infighting, felt neglected by their parents, or struggles with anger. That covers a sizable swath of the human condition. I genuinely learned many valuable lessons about being the best version of myself from a movie about ninja turtles. It’s a case study for aspiring filmmakers in how strong writing and the treatment of thematic elements with thought and care can overcome even the silliest of foundations. I challenge anyone who disagrees to watch the movie and present a strong case otherwise. In life and shooting a film there is a delicate give and take between darkness and light. TMNT 1990 deftly balances the colorful turtles with dark and sumptuous cinematography that presents the New York backdrop as its own character. I’m reminded of Tim Burton’s Gotham from Batman 89 and its timelessly ethereal nature. Purposeful action throughout serves the story. Unlike traditional children’s movies, the punches and kicks here have consequences. Ask Raphael. If you remove the veneer of schlocky 80's/90's excess, this is a wonderfully filmed and acted picture skillfully addressing a number of firmly adult topics.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gets a 10/10 rating for being better than it has any right to be and just as entertaining in 2020 as it was 30 years ago.